SOme CAll Me ToNy

Ramblings, thoughts, ideas. My ways of killing time and not people.


July 2015


Waiting, yearning for silence and peace
For darkness to wrap around me
Praying for quiet through the glass
For the soul to lay resting
For the spirit to drift as the body falls
For the body to strengthen when at last light falls
Crushing rays that burn and blind
The pins of reality that pierce the veil
Smashing through the membrane
Forcing life on the unwilling child



Waters splash against the banks
The hands pulling dirt in
From up on the bank it’s all so loud
I am glad I left the city


When you left, sound died
I cannot sleep now as I lie
You took all light with you
Seeds of love cover this tomb
Moments of a bygone age
Time is frozen in this cage
How fast does time move for a rat?


With a clown on the stage there are tears and jeers,
Screams and cries, shouts and cheers,
Audiences bawl and holler then leave,
But backstage, new stress is retrieved,
Critics and strangers alike stop to shout,
Voicing their minds and letting it out,
Forcing views down the tired clowns throat,
The clown could take their cries on the stage,
But in the streets this abuse causes age,
Tired sunken eyes in the wrinkled clown face,
Retreating further to the old mountain place,
A knife against skin, a barrel in the mouth,
An alert calming silence before he bled it all out


Well I can’t sleep and I can’t think straight
This last month hasn’t been so great
Some crazy shit happened and it’s all gone wrong
Lying every night feeling more alone
Razor wire hearts bloom and bleed
Flies hover round as they start to feed
It’s all secret ‘til it leaks through the base
Now everyone’s staring as I go pale faced
Curled up for the winter, unravelled in spring
Looked around and burrowed back in
Talk of forever whilst now is a mess
It’s all part of the big master test
Crawling the steps to the big wooden gates
Knowing I’ve never had what it takes
Amputated hands, intertwined fingers
No feeling of hope or faith or trust lingers

Spitting roses from the core
Flowery red spills onto the floor
Taste the love
That falls from above
As I cut in another door

The First Glass

The first glass makes the world a haze
Everything’s a blur
The next drink, snaps back into place
Pain lost in a whir
Memories shoot back with the pain
Spinning round your head
Broken hearts and shattered dreams
Buried in your bed

Deny the change and claim the lie
Imagined enemy
Blackening mirrors and cutting all ties
Friends are anarchy
Frightened glances through distant gaze
Always too far away
Never the issue just how it is
You’ll realise some day


The sacred plasticine
Infatuating silicone
Obsession with fictional life
Handfuls of plastic that people call wives
Lasers and scalpels decay
What was organic one day
Hypnotising minds to find
That love and lust is no more blind
Than you or I are as we speak
She gets bigger this time next week
There’s no credibility in cash
No respect when you bought that ass
You cannot love what isn’t real
Even if it’s good to feel
Surface lust to mask the heart
These days everything is art


Let’s all practice living
So when we start we’ll know
We won’t say stupid things
We’ll know which ways to go
We’ll never ever feel pain
It’ll all be just the same
The same way that we rehearsed
We’ll stick to our scripted verse

Nobody will feel shy
Never shocking when they die
Always prepared for rain
There it goes again

We’ll practice for life
Learn how skin feels against a knife
Learn how nails feel in our feet
Learn the taste of human meat
One big fuck up, free
Get out of jail, see

Always know what to wear
Never stress about your hair
Know just who will win
When elections come back in
No responsibility
There’ll be no liability
Everything will go to plan
We never wanted freedom

You Made Me Ten Feet Tall

You made me ten feet tall
Then I destroyed the cross
Now I feel so small
And I can’t see to the top

There’s a wall we talk over now
It grows taller every time
Every sorry, every cry
Every time I cross the line

New lines where old ones lay
New scars move in to stay
Estranged from rest and sleep and peace
The moon and stars still shine at least

It cannot end lest destruction come
Then the sun would set
The roses wilt with every turn
I’d still love you yet

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