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SOme CAll Me ToNy

Ramblings, thoughts, ideas. My ways of killing time and not people.

Month

March 2017

I cannot be certain but this feels like the first day since we met with absolutely no contact. It’s so strange. I keep looking at you in my mind. Watching you walk away over and over. Hearing you tell me you want to leave or think I should leave. I hope you find someone who can be what I’m not.

I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do but can express it in ways you appreciate.

I hope you find someone you love like I love you.

I know I can’t be with anyone now.

The bright and shining colours blurred the ghosts ever there

Learnt to live with past mistakes and hide within her hair

Her eyes so vibrant, called to me and perused the darkest depths

Further than her mind could think or I had ever known

Now another ghost standing by the wall

Another victim I dream about and call

Silently and audibly, always wanting more

Knowing that to try, would kill us even more

Love?

Do people fall out of love? Do they stop loving? Or do they just realise they weren’t in love to begin with?
Is true love a once in a lifetime event, or do people have multiple true loves? Is it dependant on the individual?
Is love commitment?
Is love unity?
Is love understanding?
Is love blunt, brutal and blinding?
How can people claim to love whilst leaving the person they’re professing to feel for?
Is love a crutch? Is it crippling and addictive? Do people become dependent on it? Should they?
Is taking a break the same as leaving forever? Does the former inevitably lead to the latter?
Why do people think reunions work? How do they deal with the awkwardness? The walking on egg shells and skirting around issues so as to avoid repeating past mistakes? Hoping that what they ran from has left more than running back to what they were drawn to?
Why do people seem to see potential rather than what is there? Does anyone see what’s before them?
Is love helping people with their problems or helping them just live with them? Is love living with things or improving them?
Why don’t people see that love really is like water? It changes form and becomes a necessity but can drown and break just as easily as it can heal.

Something’s Got To Change

And she said it again twelve times this hour

Something’s got to change

I said it’s so strange how this happens

Like a wilting growing flower

Her eyes had grown cloudy

Mist dropping down

And the skies all started to rain

I said you tore my umbrella

When you borrowed it last

But I learn to live with the strain

 

She said something’s got to change

 

Her hair and her mood had gone blue for the week

And the squeak of it all hunched me well

I said haven’t you tried something else

But she cried and told me not to speak

She painted her eyes and coloured them well

Her lips were cliche impressive and soft

I put on my hat and grabbed her coat

The sleeves tore off, I tried for a joke

She told me to try harder

And I just choke

 

She said something’s got to change

 

We’ve grown daily apart and together again

But the rain keeps on blowing

We cling on and let go and your hands start to slip

Our knuckles are red from the pain

The bruises don’t show in a physical sense

But the hedges are getting cut down

I tried to rebuild them but she told me to walk

Then grabbed onto the strings

She spun me around said help me decide

I said it’s up to you it’s all in your mind

 

She said something’s got to change

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