SOme CAll Me ToNy

Ramblings, thoughts, ideas. My ways of killing time and not people.



There are lots of people making very explicitly political statements where they’re talking about who they’re voting for or which figures they align themselves with. I think if you know me, me saying that at this point would be redundant because you’d know or you’d have worked it out.

If you don’t want to vote because you don’t believe it makes a difference, you have that right. I might think not voting only makes a difference if enough people don’t vote and speak out but that‘s just like, my opinion, man.
If you are voting, and I think you should, then you vote for whoever you want. Some vote for ideals and hopes, others to counter opposing parties. Some vote for local MPs, others for the party as a whole, others for the leader. Some people make a list in their minds of what order they’d vote in and vote for whoever appears on the ballot that is high on that imaginary list whilst others swear by specifically one party and won’t vote for any others under any circumstances. It’s not my place to say which is right and which are wrong. Just, if you are voting, know why you are voting and be prepared to live with any and all consequences of that vote. Don’t vote because of headlines, hashtags, trends, memes etc. Just think it through.


Three years and all I’ve got

Is a photo in a frame on the floor

A jar filled with loves that you gave me

Little notes that I can’t read anymore
You never understood

I wonder if you could

You said I never tried to explain

I know I never could
The perfect portrait of love

Growing dusty on the carpet

The piece of you you gave

Sits left on the desk

Forever was our favourite dream

But I neglected and abused

Took the flowers all for granted

You bloom so beautifully in spring

I cannot be certain but this feels like the first day since we met with absolutely no contact. It’s so strange. I keep looking at you in my mind. Watching you walk away over and over. Hearing you tell me you want to leave or think I should leave. I hope you find someone who can be what I’m not.

I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do but can express it in ways you appreciate.

I hope you find someone you love like I love you.

I know I can’t be with anyone now.

The bright and shining colours blurred the ghosts ever there

Learnt to live with past mistakes and hide within her hair

Her eyes so vibrant, called to me and perused the darkest depths

Further than her mind could think or I had ever known

Now another ghost standing by the wall

Another victim I dream about and call

Silently and audibly, always wanting more

Knowing that to try, would kill us even more


Do people fall out of love? Do they stop loving? Or do they just realise they weren’t in love to begin with?
Is true love a once in a lifetime event, or do people have multiple true loves? Is it dependant on the individual?
Is love commitment?
Is love unity?
Is love understanding?
Is love blunt, brutal and blinding?
How can people claim to love whilst leaving the person they’re professing to feel for?
Is love a crutch? Is it crippling and addictive? Do people become dependent on it? Should they?
Is taking a break the same as leaving forever? Does the former inevitably lead to the latter?
Why do people think reunions work? How do they deal with the awkwardness? The walking on egg shells and skirting around issues so as to avoid repeating past mistakes? Hoping that what they ran from has left more than running back to what they were drawn to?
Why do people seem to see potential rather than what is there? Does anyone see what’s before them?
Is love helping people with their problems or helping them just live with them? Is love living with things or improving them?
Why don’t people see that love really is like water? It changes form and becomes a necessity but can drown and break just as easily as it can heal.

So yeah, ramblarama. (Not a poem… duh)

So I’ve not been writing a whole lot lately. Spent a lot of time playing guitar and catching up on books I’ve been meaning to read (there are currently six piles of books I’ve not read in this room and that is not counting comics. Currently halfway through Psycho) and films and various other things. Got back into drumming which has been really fun, I used to drum a lot years back and hadn’t touched a pair of drumsticks in ages.

Currently listening to KoRn, in case anyone’s wondering.

So Anselmo has announced Down won’t be at any European festivals, eh? Well, it isn’t surprising really. Sure, if you’re a fan, (like I am), that’s pretty disappointing, (even though I’m not planning on going anywhere Down were meant to be playing anyways). But at the same time, given everything that’s going on with him and all the hype and controversy, I think he needs some time away from cameras and microphones and stages whilst things cool down and he figures some stuff out. I’ve seen his apologies and he’s been called out by every prominent metal musician with an active social networking presence but still.

I watched Scream 2 recently and I hadn’t actually seen it before despite having seen Scream far too many times. It was alright, it’s not as good as the first and it’s less of a Horror and more of a Thriller, I guess? If that means anything? Also, the ending made me laugh where Sid and Gale both go shooting that body. That amused me more than it probably should have done. That film is also a lesson on how to reference films in films from the classroom discussion on sequels, to all the references to Nightmare on Elm Street, (thank you Wes Craven), to the various Friends references.

So I’ve been reading a lot and playing a bunch of instruments (or trying to) and catching up on stuff so not really been working too much on writing but there is stuff in the works and there will be more things coming.

So yeah. Anyways. If you read this thanks. If you’ve read any of these, thank you.

Have a good day

Is Childhood Real?

Beyond the physical aspect of growing and development, is childhood real?
People grow, evolve develop all through life.

“As soon as you learn death. As soon as you learn you can be hurt, that’s when childhood dies”.

As soon as a child is born, everyone around is rushing to get them to being adults. Get them walking and talking and dressed like miniature adults and we’ll gush over it then suddenly one day they’re immature, babyish and need to grow up or else life will leave them behind. They need to run and get in the race of life, run round the wheel and have a good future.

Childhood is real for as long as the swing is in the air.

“When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of Hell.” – Brian Aldiss.

Terrorism has no religion. Terrorism has no colour. Terrorism has no nationality. Murder is not acceptable or justifiable in any situation. Death is never acceptable.

Love and support all humanity.

For Paris and Beirut and Indonesia and Japan. Nous sommes le monde.


All people really talk about is life and death. How far from/close to death they are and how to pass the time with their life as they go

Percivil Rotjaw

So I wrote this a couple of years ago just on a whim whilst listening to Murderdolls. Well, everyone that’s seen it says they like it so what the heck. 

Percivil Rotjaw never
did speak;

And his slow, heavy
walk made the floorboards creek;

He walked along with
his arms stretched out;

And he moaned and he
groaned when there were humans about;

He always did sound
like he was in terrible pain;

And the only thing he’d
eat was freshly picked brain.

Now, one frosty night
he went out on a limb;

He walked but a hunter
was following him;

This gun-wielding man
was a hunter, the best!

And he shot poor
Percivil straight through his chest;

Mr Rotjaw turned and
looked him straight in the eye.

Do you know what
happened? Well, the human did die.

Now, Percivil never
goes out anymore;

But we still hear the
squeak of the boards in the floor;

He still moans and he
groans and brains he still crave;

And in his backyard is
Percy’s old grave.

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